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As Ruktis walked down to his truck after his shift, he notice his phone. There was a text message from Boomer.
"Great...time to be Holly Home Maker." he growled to himself as he threw the engine into reverse.
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crushingdestiny
16 November 2008 @ 12:42 am
As Ruktis walked down to his truck after his shift, he notice his phone. There was a text message from Boomer.
"Great...time to be Holly Home Maker." he growled to himself as he threw the engine into reverse.
16 November 2008 @ 12:14 am
( Read more... )
Driving back into Orlando, Ruktis was glad he had stopped before doing permanent damage, but the boy was going to be long in healing. Some lessons had to hurt to sink in. He pulled into the parking garage of the Florida Hospital on Lake Underwood and fished his janitor’s uniform out. He knows no one would pay attention to his face and it didn’t take long before he was on the tarred roof. It took only a couple of minutes to change the engravings End had made some months ago. If he was stuck in Orlando…the least he could do was help. The next Great Work began.
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21 April 2008 @ 05:26 am
07 April 2008 @ 03:05 am
As he looked up into the night sky, End couldn’t help but smile. He always made a point of doing this during the new moon to minimize the chance of being observed but the bloated clouds hanging low in the sky for the last couple days made it all the easier. Of course it also meant he was going to get mighty damn wet. After the last few days of quietly pretending to learn things from his teach that he had understood a decade and a half ago, End was truly looking forward to this though. It wasn’t that he minded the tutelage, but he did occasionally find it grating that regardless of his past actions and competence, everyone still saw him as a neophyte. It was something that would be endured. He certainly didn’t expect any favors; he simply found it amusing that everyone seemed to treat him with kid gloves. He also knew that some of them had doubts about who he was. If anything was actually annoying, it was that. It was like reverse identity theft and he had a growing respect for the pain and frustration some retirees in this state had had to go through.
( Read more... )
23 March 2008 @ 02:03 am
It was seven in the evening as the crickets began the chirping, he knew that he couldn't keep the smile from his face. There was a good chance that the property he sat on was the only place for miles, if not hundreds of miles that that noise wouldn't have sounded out of place at this time of the year. It reassured him. It just simply seemed right. With such a crushing spiritual presence to the north, it was good to feel the natural ways on this little stretch of land. Only four hundred feet wide and nearly a mile and a half deep, this land was ALIVE.
He walked to the back of the house and out the back sliding glass door. The doors were never locked. Any who would intrude in this place would regret it for what remained of their existence. The spirits congregated in this place didn’t appreciate intrusion with malice. The court had a singular sense of justice in a most primitive form. The man could appreciate this on his most instinctual level.
After exiting the door and re-closing it to keep the chill air from reaching the baby within, the man slowly stretched his muscles. Each group of weathered tissue slowly pulled from normal patterns of movement until the man could feel blood reaching the smallest bunching of tissue. Precious oxygen, so needed for life slowly built and peaked in each leg, each arm and each lung.
He began a light jog down the property line, getting his legs ready for the torture he would soon inflict upon them. His speed gradually ramped up with each step. What began as a speed barely above a walk became a fast jog in the first third of the distance. By the end of the second third, it became a run and then a swift run as he approached the fence that marked the property of his immediate left and right neighbors. Then his fingertips lightly touched the fence post and he pivoted life a point guard back the way he came.
That is when the speed exploded.
Boomer watched from the window in the kitchen. She was no stranger to the rigors of keeping in shape. Her lifestyle had not only demanded it, but her order made it a part of daily life. She often wondered how normal folks had the time to be alive and also keep fit. Seeing End trotting down the property line, she began to see the fallacy in his stride, the misbalanced step and the unneeded arm pumping of an inexperienced runner. It was fairly obvious that she was going to have to spend a bit of time not only getting him up to date and conversant in his order of choice, but also how to effectively exercise for better health and benefit. Then, with eyes as sharp as any hawk yet only slight compared to most new mothers, she saw his fingertips lightly brush the weathered old wooden fence post.
That’s when the speed exploded.
His arms pumped like engine pistons at his side in perfect rhythm to his every stride. His legs were jackhammers in the earth propelling him even faster down the property line. In the back of his mind which always ran in another thought process, he recalled that the four minute mile hadn’t been broken by men until the 1950s. Indeed, to this day the official record stood at just a second or two below three and three quarters of a minute. That placed it at a near constant speed of between sixteen and seventeen miles an hour. Impressive run. On the other hand, the four hundred meter time was only about forty three seconds. That put it at about twenty one miles an hour but, only for a short sprint. No staying power there. By the time he passed the halfway point down the property line, he was shattering records. Thirty-nine second quarter miles before he leveled of his speed. He was pushing a constant twenty-four miles an hour out of his legs until he reached the last score of feet before he ran into the house. At that point he, leaned back as his feet skidded across the ground and he lightly touched the old caretaker’s quarters. Then he exploded back down the line.
Boomer was awestruck. She didn’t believe at first that what End was doing was possible for that old bent body of his, regardless of how good of shape it seemed in…and that brought unpleasant thoughts that were rapidly filed under the do not think about category. Her eyes shifted into the realm of velocity and inertia, air resistance and wind friction. She opened her eyes to the supernal sight of force and life. She found herself dumbfounded for what was before her. He wasn’t using any kind of magic. She was certain he had spells up if only because she had seen his ritual casting of Big Magic in the past. She still couldn’t pierce his occlusion though. She was certain this speed wasn’t something he could do to her knowledge though. He was simply as fast as anyone she had ever seen…even on television. What’s more, he wasn’t slowing down. Sprinters could do what he was doing, not long distance runners. She had a growing suspicion her healing knack would soon be needed so she continued to watch as End continued hundred yard dash speeds down the property line.
As the clock chimed midnight, Boomer decided she wouldn’t be needed. The endurance that End seemed to have as he continued to run was simply inhuman. Hell, it was something she had never seen done by a mage either, and the stone book was her own tower. Something just wasn’t right about this guy. She had met a number of powerful people so far in central Florida. The flare of thier power difficult not to notice but End had nothing like that. Hell, he seemed as normal as any sleeper she had known most of the time. This wasn’t one of those times. Her sight of life made it all too clear that his heart hadn’t even crested a hundred and forty beats a minute yet. She also had little doubt that the standard one sixty danger zone wouldn’t necessarily apply to him either. The baby was crying for love, feeding and plain attention though so End could keep running. Boomer would be here if he needed help. Something told her she wouldn’t have to teach him how to exercise.
The sun slowly crept over the horizon as the man know to some as End of Days came slowly jogging the last few feet to the old house. There were thirty foot long ruts a foot deep at each end of the property that he would have to fill in later in the day. It had been good to run sprints with the wolves in his court all night. The moon had been full and he had made his oblation. He had felt when the woman and the child had laid down and slept for the night a little before two in the morning. He wasn’t sure what to do about her. That the baby was his was a virtual certainty. That the tyke had been born diseased was also certain and now irrelevant. End had been raised an orphan but he knew a father was suppose to look after his child. Curing Hutchinson-Gilford disease seemed a small enough thing to start with. He did wonder when the conversation was going to come up, but supposed it couldn’t blame Boomer for her hesitance. Hell, while the evidence was incontrovertible, he didn’t even know when it had happened. Then again, they had gotten drunk a few times…dozen times together. Time would tell, but it certainly looked like his roots had been put down for some time to come.
18 March 2008 @ 09:22 pm
OOC...
Good stuff...new stuff but good stuff from local mage player
http://sereneinbedlam.livejournal.com/
Good stuff...new stuff but good stuff from local mage player
http://sereneinbedlam.livejournal.com/
18 March 2008 @ 09:03 pm
It was an odd product of older laws. The property stood at a ½ acre wide…almost. It swept back like a beam for over 8 acres though. Some decades ago, the two dairy ranchers to either side had had a pissing match about the property line and a county judge had decided that they needed some breathing room. Neither land owner was allowed to purchase the property for a period of 90 years. The irony is that the property had sat in escrow in the county seat for three decades. After all, who the hell wanted a thin strip of land between the stenches of miles of cow? After the remodeling of the court house in the county, the escrow property was found and dutifully advertised again as required by law half a decade ago.
A few weeks ago, Jacob Talic sat sleepy on a bench in east bumblefuck nowhere. He was waiting on a bus that was already running three hours too late for his cold bones to find comfort. When the wind came up suddenly it bit into his flesh with the precision usually reserved for Africanized bees and Persian arrows. With is came a news paper front and back page dating from November of 2001. There on the back inside page were the governmental postings. Last page news, as any good newsroom editor knew.
Jacob didn’t look at the paper, he just thanked Lady Fate and crumpled it up and stuffed it under his shirt to help keep out the cold. It took another week before he actually read it and made a phone call. The property was still for sale…At 1960s prices. Jacob cashed in his bus ticket and made a quick deposit at the local bank. A deposit that grabbed the property for him, sight unseen, for less then the price of a family dinner at a four star eatery. He wasn’t aware of what he was getting. He wasn’t aware of what was on the land. He wasn’t aware of what was in the land. He also had no idea how the hell he was going to get from South Carolina to Osceola county Florida. He put one foot in front of the other with the setting sun to his right. Heh…he was even exempt from property taxes for a period of no less then five years.
That old Judge must have been really pissed off at those cattle ranchers.
15 March 2008 @ 02:55 am
It only took a glance to see that the behemoth spirits before him were powerful. They also represented unfettered progress. At eight feet of asphalt, ‘50’ seemed to be in charge…but just barely. The serpentine mass over his shoulder had avarice and desire in its eyes. It has desire for itself and desire for the power that ‘50’ possesses. Both of them held themselves in absolute opposition to the balance.
“The situation is going to get worse without a doubt “, Jacob thought to himself.
As a leader of a court that embraced the wild of nature and change, the stagnation that these entities represented made him fearful for what spirits of wild in the area must endure. Then the Serpent made a half lunge at the Sleepwalker’s friend.
The belt around Jacob Talic’s, sometimes known as End of Days, waist slipped off and swiftly wound around his right fist. Trapped within that belt was spiritual Armageddon. It held a spirit of such insane destruction that the only way to keep it contained was to lull it with even more destruction held as spells stored within the belt. The innocuous length of leather held the death of any spirit foolish to come within a mile of it. While ‘50’ and the serpent and the other would certainly survive, any attendants would face permanent oblivion. ‘50’ would feel pain as he had never experienced it before though.
Jacob had been asked to ‘stay cool’ though. So, belt in had, he kept his mouth shut and waited. Other then pomp, it went well. Then what Jacob had feared happened. The Serpent decided to make his own play. He saw it as it swept back towards the Sleepwalker and her friend.
Jacob flared his spiritual power bright and stared hard into the eyes of the serpent as he caught its attention. Slowly licking his lips, Jacob left no doubt in the interstate spirit’s mind that his desire would be his downfall. Hungry as the road was, there was something bigger and hungrier very close by. He could feel as well as see the Serpent war within itself as to whether it wanted to leap into the fray…after all; it didn’t know this upstart who stood like a god before it.
It did know the two who jumped in between the two staring titans though. It knew and it could smell the keys. Against expectation and with good judgment, the Serpent retreated though it doubtlessly saw it as withdrawing. There was no denying that Jacob had just saved the Sleepwalker’s heart if not life. It was also unlikely that anyone else would see it that way. After all, why ask a master of spirits why he has done something when it is so much easier to jump to conclusions about a new person.
Jacob wasn’t concerned. He would show his worth in small and large ways. There was a larger concern that would soon have to be addressed. It would take time, but time was one thing that End of Days seemed to have in abundance.
Roads would need to be destroyed to remake the balance.
Current Mood: 
tired
tired27 February 2008 @ 01:01 pm
He felt it. Everything had changed...again. The tail to his heads was missing and what is the worth of half a coin? Miles had slowly melted under his rugged old boots when the certainty had reached him that, for a while, he was safe. That constant and neverending eye that burned across the horizon like a bad fiction reprodution had blinked, then closed. Would it last? Only Fate knew. It hadn't before, but some respite was a welcome relief. His soul ached from the damage that had been done this time in his pursuit and his evasion. People had been ended and it was his fault. Cities had creaked and crumbled and it was his fault. Hearts had broken and lives been shattered and it was his fault.
He stopped and pulled off his boot. How the hell had a pebble gotten in there?
He looked back into his past. Wife almost dead. Wife gone. Closest thing to family left long behind in the ground. A motley circus of near friends left behind for thier safety. Lies...so many lies. To the arrow, his ignorance. To the shadow, his loss. To the dreamer, his children. To the sleepless...the lie. They had to know his face. It was just bad timing. She will grieve for a lie. It is her way. Let someone grieve for him, maybe it will be better next time.
A dog jumps off a porch, racing for the edge of it's yard to defend it's property as the man walks on, a growl low in it's throat. He looks over as the shade from his hat shelters his eyes. The dog takes the hint and scurries back towards the broken down porch with it's tail between it's legs.
A lot of miles to go. Thousand miles, one step and all that...
He stopped and pulled off his boot. How the hell had a pebble gotten in there?
He looked back into his past. Wife almost dead. Wife gone. Closest thing to family left long behind in the ground. A motley circus of near friends left behind for thier safety. Lies...so many lies. To the arrow, his ignorance. To the shadow, his loss. To the dreamer, his children. To the sleepless...the lie. They had to know his face. It was just bad timing. She will grieve for a lie. It is her way. Let someone grieve for him, maybe it will be better next time.
A dog jumps off a porch, racing for the edge of it's yard to defend it's property as the man walks on, a growl low in it's throat. He looks over as the shade from his hat shelters his eyes. The dog takes the hint and scurries back towards the broken down porch with it's tail between it's legs.
A lot of miles to go. Thousand miles, one step and all that...
16 August 2007 @ 06:39 pm
So I get off of working a 24 hour shift and realize that I have no cash in my back pocket. I head to the Suntrust center to pull a few dollors out of the ATM. ATM is down, diebold is there doing repairs. Damn it.
The line wasn't long and I knew that I had a withdrawl slip in my case, so in line I go while fillin' it out. Imagine my surprise when I look up because I'm the head of the line and low and behold, the teller waving me over with a smile is shining bright and twinkly.
Then it hits me...I'm in the Suntrust center.
I walk over hesatently, not wanting to cause a scene. I look him in his eye and say...
"Can you tell me where the nearest operating ATM is?"
He tells me then says with a smile that if I want, he could withdrawl the money from my account to save me time. Then I see his eyes glaze over a second and his sharp intake of breathe. I watched the mana flow as one of the mage sights superimpose over his mark 1 a1 occular units. Damn it, this kid can't be more then twenty something and genuinly pleasent...I don't want to cause a scene and don't want to have cause to defend myself against a kid.
"Aren't you..."
"No, I'm not. For both of our sakes, but particularly your, no I'm not." I quietly say.
The kid's lips pursed together in frustration. Pretty damn sure it wasn't at me, but rather at being forced into the position I had inadvertantly put him in. How could I have been so sod buttin' stupid? I wasn't worried about myself and I knew that all Seers weren't even in the ball park of as bad as WT. Still, I also knew they wanted me dead on princable. Not clear on the why, but, it was truth. And here I waltzed into this kids lap like the exhuased idiot I am.
I saw a decision bare fruit in his head. He didn't have my withdrawl slip. It was still in my hand. He had no evidence of my true identity.
"I am very sorry sir, my system seems to be locked up. If you would like, I can bring you to another teller who can help you out. I have to report this system outage to my superiors."
"Thanks, but I'm a bit short on time, I'll just hit another ATM. Thanks for your time anyway. Hope your days stays nice." I really meant that last part. I knew the kid was going upstairs to report he saw me. I also knew that he was giving me an out. I calmly but swiftly walked out of the building and proceeded to hop a series of 4 different buses over the next 90 minutes. Never had any indication of pursuit of any kind.
Well, other then the hot breathe on the back of my neck that I always feel when WT is within 500 miles of my soul.
Damn it.
The line wasn't long and I knew that I had a withdrawl slip in my case, so in line I go while fillin' it out. Imagine my surprise when I look up because I'm the head of the line and low and behold, the teller waving me over with a smile is shining bright and twinkly.
Then it hits me...I'm in the Suntrust center.
I walk over hesatently, not wanting to cause a scene. I look him in his eye and say...
"Can you tell me where the nearest operating ATM is?"
He tells me then says with a smile that if I want, he could withdrawl the money from my account to save me time. Then I see his eyes glaze over a second and his sharp intake of breathe. I watched the mana flow as one of the mage sights superimpose over his mark 1 a1 occular units. Damn it, this kid can't be more then twenty something and genuinly pleasent...I don't want to cause a scene and don't want to have cause to defend myself against a kid.
"Aren't you..."
"No, I'm not. For both of our sakes, but particularly your, no I'm not." I quietly say.
The kid's lips pursed together in frustration. Pretty damn sure it wasn't at me, but rather at being forced into the position I had inadvertantly put him in. How could I have been so sod buttin' stupid? I wasn't worried about myself and I knew that all Seers weren't even in the ball park of as bad as WT. Still, I also knew they wanted me dead on princable. Not clear on the why, but, it was truth. And here I waltzed into this kids lap like the exhuased idiot I am.
I saw a decision bare fruit in his head. He didn't have my withdrawl slip. It was still in my hand. He had no evidence of my true identity.
"I am very sorry sir, my system seems to be locked up. If you would like, I can bring you to another teller who can help you out. I have to report this system outage to my superiors."
"Thanks, but I'm a bit short on time, I'll just hit another ATM. Thanks for your time anyway. Hope your days stays nice." I really meant that last part. I knew the kid was going upstairs to report he saw me. I also knew that he was giving me an out. I calmly but swiftly walked out of the building and proceeded to hop a series of 4 different buses over the next 90 minutes. Never had any indication of pursuit of any kind.
Well, other then the hot breathe on the back of my neck that I always feel when WT is within 500 miles of my soul.
Damn it.
14 August 2007 @ 07:00 pm
I actually wanted to show up to the shindig that Sol and Gyps threw. Thought maybe we could clear the air a bit. Even if it meant beating Sol's ass to do it.
Some things are unavaidable though.
I was at the ER picking up my schedule for the coming month when a pair of kids came in. One had been disemboweled in a knife fight and the other older one shot in the sturnum. 13 hours of surjury later and I was a bit late to the cook out.
Oh well. Things will either get resolved or they won't. Sol's right, me being in the company of anyone is likely to be less safe for them the more safe for me. I'm pretty damn good at staying hidden and moving quick and dirty when needed. Now maybe...maybe...
Fuck it. I guess I'll see what happens next.
08 August 2007 @ 06:50 pm
Well...
I think I may have had about enough. I was made the most admired mage in Orlando for good reasons they said. They said no one had done more. They made me sentinal because they needed someone they could trust to look the same unflinching eye at everyone.
They lied.
I have birthed children and then found them when thier own parents had misplaced them. I saved them from total destruction when four score mages sought to return them to the cycle due to lack of vision and wisdom. I saved Fee when she was being raped body and soul by a spirit. I have saved countless lives through no use of magic simply because, if not me, then who? I fought against more then a hundred seers and thier 'minions'. I did it with my hands as opposed to shredding the disbelief of the world. I have battled long and hard against the odds and tried to save those who I could and who were meant to be.
It seems that these are not traits to be admired. So be it. I have walked my entire life without cabal or concillium before entering Orlando. I shall do so again.
Gypsy wants to call me out in front of everyone. Please little girl...
Try walking in my shoes...You'd stumble in my footsteps.
Current Mood: 
aggravated
aggravated16 July 2007 @ 06:51 pm
Hmmmm....The realestate lady thinks I'm crazy for listing the place for $50,000. Of course, she doesn't realize that the morgage broker has already lost my paperwork. Now I just need to find a good replacement for the head of trauma surjury at work. Couple of my interns are truly talented. So, it shouldn't be too difficult. Lost my wife. Lost the complete lack of respect I had among my peers. Lost the ability to really care too damn much. Heh..in otherwords...business as usual in life.
16 July 2007 @ 05:38 pm
.......Its all gone to hell. Think it's time to start selling the furniture. I'm sure the house will sell quickly.
09 July 2007 @ 01:18 am
I have not seen nor heard from my wife in two months. I left for four years to ensure her safty. I guess she finally decided she couldn't accept that. Where ever she is...I hope she is safe. I pray she thinks of me kindly on occasion. I hope she knows that I will always be her lead in man if she needs it. I will always patch her up when she bleeds. I respect her decision. My only fear is that she still cares for me. Better that she cares less or hates me in the end. Therein lies the end of her curse. My curse.
I think it is time to use some of the 200 hours of PTO I have accumulated at the hospitol in the last six months and go get hammered. Nothing like and extra 670 hours of unpaid work each week to really rack up the paid leave. Yes, of course that is an exageration. I can't wrap time around my finger that easily. I do have quite a bit saved up. I think I need to buy about 52 gallons of good vodka and get blitzed.
I think it is time to use some of the 200 hours of PTO I have accumulated at the hospitol in the last six months and go get hammered. Nothing like and extra 670 hours of unpaid work each week to really rack up the paid leave. Yes, of course that is an exageration. I can't wrap time around my finger that easily. I do have quite a bit saved up. I think I need to buy about 52 gallons of good vodka and get blitzed.
Current Mood: 
crushed
crushed05 April 2007 @ 12:31 am
27 March 2007 @ 11:41 pm
Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
I’ve found myself thinking back over the years. Not a lot of great memories. Lost in the Dept. of Family Services as a child. Four years of hell. Orphanges…more then I can count. The Old Man was an upside, but that was never meant to last long. The war. Always alone for the most part til I met her. Then I just got to be alone and extra special miserable without her.
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
Whats a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Now I find myself in the defined position of ENFORCER. What a joke. Protector, I could accept more readily. The problem is, how do you enforce what you personally feel is a sick and pathetic little joke. FGC. They can’t be serious. The more centralized things get, the less personal choice will be involved in local affairs. I know this had to be a politician’s or a shadow man’s idea. I just feel that this will impact my slowly reaquired family badly.
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one whos left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I’ve lived a life time in my short number of years. I bear the scars, both physical and emotional, of a lifetime of war. I stick around due to being concerned for those around me. I stick around for her. I stick around because maybe I’m a little safer in a group. I don’t stick around to be the hunting dog for would be domitors.
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
Whats a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Maybe there is something I can do before it is too late. Before the fate I have forseen comes to pass. Before the dream comes true. Before she is forced to make a choice. Before so many die to hold true to what they believe. Before I have to recycle people.
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
I will protect those who detest me. Better to hate me, then to have to depend on me for safety. They play at games and do not see the big picture. Perhaps I can help them keep their rose colored glasses. Better I be reviled, then they see the truth.
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
I’ve found myself thinking back over the years. Not a lot of great memories. Lost in the Dept. of Family Services as a child. Four years of hell. Orphanges…more then I can count. The Old Man was an upside, but that was never meant to last long. The war. Always alone for the most part til I met her. Then I just got to be alone and extra special miserable without her.
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
Whats a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Now I find myself in the defined position of ENFORCER. What a joke. Protector, I could accept more readily. The problem is, how do you enforce what you personally feel is a sick and pathetic little joke. FGC. They can’t be serious. The more centralized things get, the less personal choice will be involved in local affairs. I know this had to be a politician’s or a shadow man’s idea. I just feel that this will impact my slowly reaquired family badly.
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one whos left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I’ve lived a life time in my short number of years. I bear the scars, both physical and emotional, of a lifetime of war. I stick around due to being concerned for those around me. I stick around for her. I stick around because maybe I’m a little safer in a group. I don’t stick around to be the hunting dog for would be domitors.
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
Whats a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Maybe there is something I can do before it is too late. Before the fate I have forseen comes to pass. Before the dream comes true. Before she is forced to make a choice. Before so many die to hold true to what they believe. Before I have to recycle people.
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
I will protect those who detest me. Better to hate me, then to have to depend on me for safety. They play at games and do not see the big picture. Perhaps I can help them keep their rose colored glasses. Better I be reviled, then they see the truth.
27 March 2007 @ 12:18 am
Not that he got to spend much time in it, but, the house always felt so empty when Lucky was out. He knew better then to ask too much concerning where she went. She had a cabal. A cabal and an order that needed her time. Even if it wasn’t the same path he chose to follow, he respected his wife’s decision. Things might have been different if he had been around when she Awoke. Lucky usually kept him intentionally in the dark about what she was up to. He knew she was a Guardian, but in all reality, that was about the extent of his knowledge. It was probably for the best. Even if he was as forthright as possible, he couldn’t expect the same on some subjects. He accepted it. This didn’t translate into liking it, but, he was determined to make things work this time. That meant respecting her privacy even as he was willing to be far more open with her then was altogether healthy for her.
The musty smell of the house greeted Ruktis as he opened the front door to the house he had bought them. He’d just finished a 36 hour shift at the hospital and walked in with his seventh pair of scrubs. The head of the E/R still hadn’t been able to find Ruktis’ records but had spoken to someone at the place he had done his residency. That was good enough for now until they could locate them. Ruktis figured he’d have to fabricate something soon. His records had ways of disappearing, even when it wasn’t needed. He had started his surgical rotation the day before. That’s when he had been able to show what he had been talking about. No magic, save from staving off fatigue and he had been brilliant. The work was like riding a bike. Deft touch, gentle probe, incisive instinct, careful work. He’d saved a small child. Car wreck. Saved his leg, too. One thing was certain, though. He was exhausted. He smiled that he would once again be crawling into his own bed instead of across the backseat of his old car. Unless he was at work, he had kept his promise about being in THEIR bed nightly.
Things were still working out slowly, but surely. She wasn’t quite so distant anymore. He didn’t have to use his supernal will to see the fear and doubt which still lingered in her eyes though. He had heard her worried soft tears even across the house more then once. He just wished he knew what he could do, other then giving it time, to make it better for her. It killed him when he would reach for her hand and the first thing she did was flinch back before she caught herself. He understood though. Loss was not a part of his life but rather, it was his life. He could understand how she felt. Due to his malformed upbringing though, he hadn’t the smallest clue what to do to make it better. So time it had to be. If he couldn’t say the right words, then he would show her though his actions.
They still shared the same bed. It may never again be consummated, but they were there together. And when he woke from his nightmares, it was always to her soft voice whispering calm words and holding him in her safe embrace. Things were working out. They might be okay eventually.
The musty smell of the house greeted Ruktis as he opened the front door to the house he had bought them. He’d just finished a 36 hour shift at the hospital and walked in with his seventh pair of scrubs. The head of the E/R still hadn’t been able to find Ruktis’ records but had spoken to someone at the place he had done his residency. That was good enough for now until they could locate them. Ruktis figured he’d have to fabricate something soon. His records had ways of disappearing, even when it wasn’t needed. He had started his surgical rotation the day before. That’s when he had been able to show what he had been talking about. No magic, save from staving off fatigue and he had been brilliant. The work was like riding a bike. Deft touch, gentle probe, incisive instinct, careful work. He’d saved a small child. Car wreck. Saved his leg, too. One thing was certain, though. He was exhausted. He smiled that he would once again be crawling into his own bed instead of across the backseat of his old car. Unless he was at work, he had kept his promise about being in THEIR bed nightly.
Things were still working out slowly, but surely. She wasn’t quite so distant anymore. He didn’t have to use his supernal will to see the fear and doubt which still lingered in her eyes though. He had heard her worried soft tears even across the house more then once. He just wished he knew what he could do, other then giving it time, to make it better for her. It killed him when he would reach for her hand and the first thing she did was flinch back before she caught herself. He understood though. Loss was not a part of his life but rather, it was his life. He could understand how she felt. Due to his malformed upbringing though, he hadn’t the smallest clue what to do to make it better. So time it had to be. If he couldn’t say the right words, then he would show her though his actions.
They still shared the same bed. It may never again be consummated, but they were there together. And when he woke from his nightmares, it was always to her soft voice whispering calm words and holding him in her safe embrace. Things were working out. They might be okay eventually.
19 February 2007 @ 04:25 am
I told her. All of it. The bloody damn truth. Every f'ing bit. Well, maybe not everything, but, all that mattered. Why I left. Why I stayed gone. I told her that I loved her. I told her that she was the reason I left and why.
Then she wouldn't let me leave. I think I slept the sleep of the dead withing seconds of my boots hitting the floor. I've been asleep for almost a day and a half. Heh. I don't even remember getting undressed. I must have though since My jeans and shirt are pressed. Check that. There they are in the trash. Those are new jeans and a shirt on the dresser. It kind of occured to me that I haven't had more then 7 or 8 minutes of sleep a day for the last 4 years more then once or twice. Great. Multiple masteries keep the body and spirit going, but it didn't hit me till after I awoke just how soul deep exhausted I've been since I left her side.
I also realize that this isn't a gurentee that things are okay between us. The tiny scared part of me still reels in terror that bad things are going to happen to her because of me. Everyone I've ever loved...more importantly, who've loved me have died. When she was in that ICU bed, I was broken to my soul. I felt the abyss(madness, not the other Abyss) welling up in me in my terror for her safty. That's a story for another day though.
I know she watched over me. Sybil's sight tells me all too clearly that she loves me. The miasma still surrounds her. I can't do it again. I can't leave her again. God help me, I'm just not that strong. For the first time in 4 long painful years I felt safe. I felt like I was home. I woke and the pillow was wet with my tears. She was gone when I awoke. She left a note for me. Said she had to check some things.
This is just rambling. There's still crusties in my eyes from sleep. Okay, she can find me and I know how to find her. Maybe there is reason to hope. Maybe things will be okay. Maybe she can forgive me for doing the only thing I could to protect the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me. Maybe she can believe I love her more then she can ever know.
God in heavens, forgive my greed, I hope she does. If she knew what I had done over the years of our absence...well, tried to do, I don't know if she'd understand. Loss can make a man a bit crazy sometimes.
Then she wouldn't let me leave. I think I slept the sleep of the dead withing seconds of my boots hitting the floor. I've been asleep for almost a day and a half. Heh. I don't even remember getting undressed. I must have though since My jeans and shirt are pressed. Check that. There they are in the trash. Those are new jeans and a shirt on the dresser. It kind of occured to me that I haven't had more then 7 or 8 minutes of sleep a day for the last 4 years more then once or twice. Great. Multiple masteries keep the body and spirit going, but it didn't hit me till after I awoke just how soul deep exhausted I've been since I left her side.
I also realize that this isn't a gurentee that things are okay between us. The tiny scared part of me still reels in terror that bad things are going to happen to her because of me. Everyone I've ever loved...more importantly, who've loved me have died. When she was in that ICU bed, I was broken to my soul. I felt the abyss(madness, not the other Abyss) welling up in me in my terror for her safty. That's a story for another day though.
I know she watched over me. Sybil's sight tells me all too clearly that she loves me. The miasma still surrounds her. I can't do it again. I can't leave her again. God help me, I'm just not that strong. For the first time in 4 long painful years I felt safe. I felt like I was home. I woke and the pillow was wet with my tears. She was gone when I awoke. She left a note for me. Said she had to check some things.
This is just rambling. There's still crusties in my eyes from sleep. Okay, she can find me and I know how to find her. Maybe there is reason to hope. Maybe things will be okay. Maybe she can forgive me for doing the only thing I could to protect the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me. Maybe she can believe I love her more then she can ever know.
God in heavens, forgive my greed, I hope she does. If she knew what I had done over the years of our absence...well, tried to do, I don't know if she'd understand. Loss can make a man a bit crazy sometimes.
Current Mood: 
hopeful
hopeful